#085: Am I a Real Creative, or Am I Just Pretending?

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Dwight: Welcome in to another edition of the For the Love of Creatives podcast. This is Community and Becoming For the Love of Creatives.

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Dwight: I'm your host, Dwight, and today I'm going to walk us through a clear map of the creative journey that you're already on. You'll understand why you get stuck in certain phases, and you'll know where community guidance can fit in.

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Dwight: So, stick with me, and we'll go on this journey.

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Dwight: If you've ever wondered, am I a real creative, or am I pretending?

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Dwight: You're not alone. There are lots of times that people hear that voice, they ask that question.

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Dwight: And there's nothing wrong with that. If you didn't ask that question, then you would just be a little too delusional and out of touch. There would probably be something wrong with you.

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Dwight: There's a predictable journey that most heart-centered creatives walk through.

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Dwight: And as we go through this conversation, I want to lay out a map so you can stop feeling lost and start to have a sense of where you are. Carry a little

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Dwight: compass, if you will. You… it's gonna take you a while to get to the point where you have mapped out all of the terrain.

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Dwight: And that's… what we call practice.

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Dwight: I've been on this journey and frankly, you have to. You just may not have called it out.

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Dwight: And…

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Dwight: I am going to enjoy spending a little bit of time now to walk a little bit of it beside you.

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Dwight: So let's dive in. The first thing that we want to know.

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Dwight: is… How it is that we can have.

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Dwight: names for what it is that we're going through, and I've covered this in other episodes, but I will call it out here so that

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Dwight: in this conversation we have a sense of of what what it is that we're working with.

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Dwight: So, at the very beginning, you're going to go through what I call the doubting creative. That's where self-doubt, comparison, and I'm not good enough live.

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Dwight: If you are able to make it through, break through in that, the next logical place to land would be what I call the Awakening Creative.

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Dwight: That's when you realize your voice matters, and you start taking yourself seriously.

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Dwight: And beyond that, there's the emerging voice.

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Dwight: That's when you begin sharing more deeply and testing your message in public.

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Dwight: And… what I call the… Authentic creative.

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Dwight: That's when your voice feels rooted.

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Dwight: You create an alignment with who you are, and often you're you find yourself in a position where you're leading others.

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Dwight: The main fear or frustration for each of these is a little different.

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Dwight: And… We'll… let's… let's kind of dive into them.

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Dwight: So, in the doubting phase.

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Dwight: You want to make your work matter, but you're carrying a constant fear of rejection.

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Dwight: You're in a state of always wondering, well…

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Dwight: You're looking, and you're scrolling the other people's feeds, and you're thinking.

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Dwight: They got this all figured out. I'm so behind.

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Dwight: And it could be hard to live in that space. You're you've got a lot that's weighing on you.

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Dwight: And… Here's the thing.

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Dwight: Each of the phases has something like that, that they're working through. I mean, there's…

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Dwight: In the Awakening Creative, you start to feel like you've…

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Dwight: broken past some of the old patterns, you've outgrown certain things, and you're craving authenticity. And you… you want to stop proving

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Dwight: That you're a creative and and start trusting.

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Dwight: It's it can be a difficult line line to walk because.

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Dwight: You… You have so much inside you.

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Dwight: But you're just starting to get your sea legs, if you will.

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Dwight: For the emerging voice.

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Dwight: You find yourself in a place where you're sharing more, but you still feel quite vulnerable.

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Dwight: You want better feedback and direction.

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Dwight: You you want consistency, not just random bursts of courage. You you want to.

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Dwight: You you're hungry to to achieve more you.

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Dwight: You want to have your stuff out there.

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Dwight: And then there's the authentic creative.

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Dwight: You know that when you've gone there, when… even though self-doubt still visits, it's not something that runs the show.

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Dwight: You are in a place where you trust your instincts a bit more consistently.

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Dwight: You're less driven by validation. You know that people have opinions.

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Dwight: And people have things that they have to say, but that's just data.

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Dwight: and it's not something that's going to shift you in any direction significantly. You you file it away. But it's like, Okay, I don't know.

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Dwight: People have… have their own opinions, and…

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Dwight: They may not like the this thing that I'm doing. They may not have the a genuine,

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Dwight: attraction to the things that I'm motivated to create.

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Dwight: that just means I'm not for them. I'm going to continue to dive into the things that light up the people that I'm trying to connect with.

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Dwight: When you're in that authentic, creative place, you feel

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Dwight: You feel more seen and supported and connected.

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Dwight: But you still have.

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Dwight: You still have to deal with

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Dwight: a certain number of fears. There are just practical things that are a part of what it is to create for meals versus reels. And by that I mean, there are certain things that you do because you have to.

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Dwight: And you reserve some of your creative output for the things that really take your breath away and make it so that you can just see how far you can go with any

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Dwight: Particular passion or any curiosity.

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Dwight: Now…

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Dwight: I know that it's as I describe those things you might see yourself, but you also might think, well.

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Dwight: Those seem kind of abstract. I kind of have an idea.

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Dwight: I'd love to take you on my own personal journey and how it is that I've had to deal with each of those phases in my own creative life.

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Dwight: So, me speaking to you now, in this format, if you've found me in your earbuds, you're watching me on YouTube.

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Dwight: You are looking at my expression of something that is my authentic creativity.

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Dwight: My form of expression is one that is

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Dwight: performed in some ways, but it's also how I'm exposing my heart. I'm exposing something that's deeply vulnerable and tender.

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Dwight: And you're seeing the way that I put things together creatively.

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Dwight: In…

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Dwight: in a sense, as it happens. Of course, this is going to be recorded, but for the most part, I'm laying out something that's raw and real, and it's because I've walked through

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Dwight: a bit of a trial when it comes to getting over.

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Dwight: How it is that everybody might not like what I have to say. That's me walking in my authentic creativity.

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Dwight: But it took a while for me to get there.

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Dwight: I would say that I was fully in my doubt and creative phase as I was in the throes of grief.

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Dwight: And here's the thing.

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Dwight: I had reached the pinnacle of something else that was my authentic creativity, and that was working as a consultant and helping people.

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Dwight: Through some pretty complex challenges in their businesses. I.

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Dwight: I worked for a very large software company, and I had to

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Dwight: wear a lot of different hats. I would find myself having to fully embody and embrace something that was completely different from one project to the next, and sometimes I would have to make rapid switching.

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Dwight: And… Need to go deep on something that I had never seen before.

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Dwight: So that I could guide others through it.

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Dwight: And I needed to do it with this smile and with confidence and with that welcoming spirit that would bring others along.

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Dwight: All of that became a lot harder when I had to say goodbye to someone who'd been a constant in my life for 20 years.

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Dwight: and There's just nothing that prepares you for when you see

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Dwight: Someone… when you see the life, Move out of someone's body.

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Dwight: And there are just parts of how you're wired that make you think.

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Dwight: That they're always going to be there, even though

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Dwight: there's the intellectual part of you that knows that death's a possibility, and you've been preparing for it for months. You've been doing all the legal things that you have to do.

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Dwight: When it actually happened.

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Dwight: I was… not ready, and I was not well for quite some time.

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Dwight: But That was the precipitating incident that had me asking.

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Dwight: who it was that I needed to be and what it was that I wanted to do to define how I was going to live.

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Dwight: And I could see the gift from… That horrible thing happening.

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Dwight: At the time, I thought, to me.

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Dwight: but with a little bit of growth and reflection.

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Dwight: I could appreciate How as devastating as the grief of losing a loved one is.

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Dwight: There are ways that it was happening for me.

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Dwight: And so I developed a spark, a curiosity. I started looking at things, looking at creative pursuits that I had.

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Dwight: tried at earlier points of my life in childhood.

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Dwight: and cast aside.

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Dwight: I looked at them through a lens of.

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Dwight: those being childish things, and things I needed to put away, because I needed to enter the respectable world of work, and business, or academics, and… and I needed to…

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Dwight: Focus on just those things that were acceptable in.

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Dwight: Certain realms.

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Dwight: And as I started to pull on that curiosity, I started to write more. I started to…

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Dwight: look at biographies as a source of inspiration and trying different things. I started to look at things that I had done when I was on a forensics team in college that

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Dwight: Really lit me up at the time. I was having a great time doing the dramatic readings.

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Dwight: And looking at how to build arguments and looking at frameworks for presenting ideas, all of that stuff.

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Dwight: really lit me up, and when I was in that… that grief spell.

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Dwight: I started to look at those things again.

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Dwight: And I… had curiosity for things that I'd never seen before.

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Dwight: It was when I was invited to go to a coaching conference by my partner that I got to…

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Dwight: See a door opened that.

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Dwight: made me look at how all of the work I'd done as a consultant for a software company had been preparation for something else that was to come.

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Dwight: And…

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Dwight: I was in a place where I was thinking, oh, is this something that's even possible? Can I really do this? And it wasn't until I was involved in the actual training that I

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Dwight: Started to feel like I could do this.

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Dwight: Oh my goodness!

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Dwight: I went from… That doubting creative.

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Dwight: Mentality of, oh, well, yeah, this isn't real, I can't really do this, to having those moments, those wins, when I could feel myself.

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Dwight: Breaking into an another phase, I added an the awakening creative energy around the fact that, oh wait, I was hitting the marks. I was making things happen in a way that was helpful and useful. I was getting traction.

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Dwight: And… It took years of going through the process of doing what was required for the certifications.

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Dwight: Before I really had the confidence to see how the things that I learned in formal coaching school.

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Dwight: had applications in other realms, and I could bring them into other things that I was doing. I started exploring

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Dwight: Other ways of approaching.

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Dwight: How to show up in life.

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Dwight: And I started going deeper on my interest in ancient philosophies and, looking at how people are related and seeing how there are those universal truths in physics that also seem to show up in human relations and oh my goodness.

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Dwight: I I really went down some rabbit holes.

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Dwight: And then… I reached a point where I started applying

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Dwight: the things that I was learning to new areas.

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Dwight: I hadn't… there was a long time that I had…

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Dwight: Stayed away from social media entirely because.

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Dwight: I had seen enough things to know that it was poison or it could be, it could be deadly.

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Dwight: I could see how there were a lot of people that just went a little bit too deep, they were a little too dependent, and a little bit too constantly online. But then I started to see how it was a channel for expression. It was an art form.

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Dwight: And the things that I had done to go on my journey, to go from the doubting creative where I was devastated and it took a lot of energy for me to even try to express myself in any way to the awakening creative, where as a student in coaching school.

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Dwight: I started to see how I could apply the teachings and

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Dwight: I could see how they they held up. I could see how, by walking the the path of the specific steps and following patterns and looking and listening and being fully present and showing up.

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Dwight: It gave me a way of…

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Dwight: of being able to see something build and and see the beauty in it, to see it blossom.

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Dwight: I then had the curiosity to want to explore other realms and and be able to leave my mark to.

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Dwight: Use my emerging voice to go and practice in public to, leave my digital footprints on all of the social media platforms. I tried things on all of them. It in a lot of ways, the algorithms became my canvas.

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Dwight: And I was loving it. I am living my best life by simply showing up.

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Dwight: in places where I can just say hi to people that I may never meet.

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Dwight: But I can, I know that it has an impact.

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Dwight: in… I would say that… While it was in my emerging voice energy that I was able to

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Dwight: fully embrace social media.

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Dwight: It was as the authentic creative that I went on the arc of becoming someone that was curious about what it was to create consistently, to have a podcast, a newsletter, a LinkedIn newsletter, a presence on a couple of the social platforms.

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Dwight: I am now in a place where I'm inhabiting

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Dwight: all of those ways that I want to show up as a speaker, as a coach, as a facilitator. I'm in the midst of attaining a facilitation certification that I've looked

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Dwight: at from afar for a long time, and I've finally taken the leap, and I am…

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Dwight: loving every minute of it. I am fully immersed in that world, and it's coming into everything else that I'm doing. The rich tapestry of what it is to walk the path from doubting creative to awakening creative to emerging voice to authentic creative is being

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Dwight: blended into the soup of all of the teachings, all of the reading, all of the things that I'm going through in order to show up better as a facilitator, and, in my humble opinion, as a human being.

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Dwight: I, I have such a joy for the way that all of these things come together in a rich tapestry. And it's a beautiful thing.

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Dwight: And I am so… Happy to to share this excitement.

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Dwight: With you, if you're listening, or if you're viewing the video of this, I am all here for it.

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Dwight: Now…

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Dwight: it's… I know that it can seem like quite a bit that we've gone through with these things, with the different phases on this map that I'm trying to make.

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Dwight: And… I would like to make sure that I am quite clear in the fact that you can inhabit.

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Dwight: multiple phases at once, depending on different contexts, on different mediums, on where you are with your internal weather. We all have those things that might pull us back into the doubting creative

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Dwight: Whether it's through illness or just by something that has rocked your world.

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Dwight: And that's okay!

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Dwight: We're all…

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Dwight: On our own journeys, and we have the privilege, the luxury of being able to reach out to others that are on their paths to make it easier for us to

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Dwight: Feel good about where we are on our own.

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Dwight: If you ever feel like you're not exactly where you need to be, I want you to just take a beat and realize that you are exactly where you are because there's something larger at work.

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Dwight: And it's going to…

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Dwight: make it to where things fall into place brilliantly at some other point. There's a famous movie quote that

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Dwight: I hear constantly, and I have no idea where to where to attribute it. But

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Dwight: The gist of it is, Everything's going to be okay in the end and if it's not okay.

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Dwight: It's not the end.

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Dwight: For those of you that might be struggling.

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Dwight: in where you are right now. I want you to carry this with you, just from me to you. You're not broken.

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Dwight: You're just in a phase, and you're right where you need to be in this moment.

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Dwight: Life has a funny way of presenting you with the challenges that you need.

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Dwight: Exactly when you need them to get you exactly where you are.

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Dwight: and I'm not going to…

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Dwight: say that you need to just lay everything out to chance. Let the fates just deal you what they will.

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Dwight: You have to be an active participant. You gotta show up.

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Dwight: And you… you gotta… You gotta be there and be in it.

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Dwight: To win it, right?

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Dwight: I'm hope… I'm hoping that you have enjoyed this time that we have spent together, and

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Dwight: I would invite you to look a little more into this world that we're weaving.

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Dwight: I give a lot of dispatches in different places that you can pick up there. There's a a sub stack that we that we have is for the love of creatives where we.

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Dwight: Have a little tidbit that we drop weekly there.

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Dwight: And it's slightly different. It uses some of the content that we have in earlier newsletters.

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Dwight: But it's framed in a way that just leaves you with a new thought, a new spin, a new way of looking at things.

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Dwight: I would like to… Part by offering you to have a.

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Dwight: a little bit of reflection.

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Dwight: I want you to think about the creative pursuits that you're in right now.

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Dwight: and ask yourself honestly.

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Dwight: Which phase am I in today?

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Dwight: doubting, awakening, emerging, or authentic.

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Dwight: and tell one trusted person where you are.

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Dwight: And ask what support would help you.

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Dwight: Move one step further.

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Dwight: The beautiful thing is… Okay.

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Dwight: This is a journey that's that's always You're always on it.

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Dwight: As long as you draw breath.

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Dwight: you're going to… Operate.

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Dwight: in one or more of these phases of the the creative journey, the creative map.

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Dwight: and If you're willing to reach out for others, I I'm telling you that.

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Dwight: That journey's a lot more fun.

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Dwight: When you've got someone walking beside you.

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Dwight: and in some cases I would say, the more the merrier. We like to make it easy for you to

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Dwight: Find people that you can walk that path with for the love of creatives.

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Dwight: Whether it's listening to one of the many episodes of our podcast.

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Dwight: or engaging in one of our live experiences. Our signature event, we just call the experience. We love it so much that

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Dwight: We we start with the X in experience.

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Dwight: Because each of them is a designed, facilitated event that allows people to get a little closer to who they are, who they're carrying with them.

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Dwight: and to make deeper connections with people that maybe they wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet.

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Dwight: We like to do things to make it easy for people to come together online, and…

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Dwight: I love coaching and speaking and facilitating workshops.

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Dwight: This is my happy place. I love making it to where

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Dwight: People are in a place where they can feel a little bit more human, a little bit more seen.

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Dwight: And that's what this whole journey is that we're on together.

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Dwight: I hope that you've enjoyed this time that we've spent.

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Dwight: And I look forward to greeting you with the next edition of

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Dwight: community and becoming for the love of creatives.

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Dwight: Bye for now.