Oct. 20, 2025
#045: Sabrina Handal Finds Her Purpose Isn't in Her Head... It's in Her Heart
Ever feel like you're creatively stagnant, pulled in different directions, and overthinking every possible path forward? You're not alone. In this vulnerable coaching conversation, we sit down with Sabrina, a graphic designer searching for greater fulfillment while struggling with perfectionism and the pressure to have everything figured out. The session reveals how many of us approach career decisions like marriage commitments when we should treat them more like trying on shoes... exploring...
Ever feel like you're creatively stagnant, pulled in different directions, and overthinking every possible path forward? You're not alone. In this vulnerable coaching conversation, we sit down with Sabrina, a graphic designer searching for greater fulfillment while struggling with perfectionism and the pressure to have everything figured out.
The session reveals how many of us approach career decisions like marriage commitments when we should treat them more like trying on shoes... exploring options before making decisions. Sabrina courageously shares her journey of feeling stuck between staying in a predictable design career and pursuing something that truly lights her up, while battling the constant pressure to have a clear purpose and direction.
What emerges is a powerful realization that our greatest guidance often doesn't come from thinking but from feeling. "Maybe the compass was never in my head, but in my heart," becomes a pivotal moment as Sabrina recognizes her tendency to live in her thoughts rather than tuning into her body's wisdom. The conversation explores how reconnecting with your inner child can reveal forgotten passions and help release the burden of external expectations.
For anyone who's ever felt paralyzed by perfectionism or the need to have everything figured out before taking action, this episode offers compassionate guidance on moving forward through small, manageable steps. You'll discover practical journaling exercises, the importance of community, and how to create space for authentic desires to emerge naturally.
Ready to break free from creative stagnation? Listen now, and take the first step toward finding your own compass... not through perfect clarity, but through curious exploration and heartfelt connection to what truly matters to you.
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For the Love of Creatives Community
00:00 - Feeling Pulled in Different Directions
04:40 - Exploration vs. Commitment Mindset
10:57 - Finding What Lights You Up
17:36 - Looking Back at Future Sabrina
28:04 - Inner Child Work and Self-Connection
38:36 - Creating an Action Plan Forward
45:40 - Releasing the Pressure to Find Purpose
50:29 - Final Reflections and Clarity
WEBVTT
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however, I feel pulled in different directions.
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I've always been kind of a person that is always kind of like I need to have my life figured out.
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I need to know my purpose.
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I need to.
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If I'm gonna go one direction, I need to know 100, and I need to.
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If I'm going to go one direction, I need to know a hundred percent, and I feel that I'm a lot of time has passed just kind of saying I'll figure it out later until it's perfect, until it's clear, and it's a combination of that and a combination of just feeling pulled in different directions and not knowing where to start.
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Hello and welcome to a special edition of the For the Love of Creatives podcast.
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Today I am your For the Love of Creatives host Dwight, joined by our other wonderful host, maddox, and this is going to be a coaching conversation with Sabrina.
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Hello, sabrina.
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Hi there.
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Thank you for having me.
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I've been looking forward to this.
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I get to see you, Sabrina.
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We're really glad that you're here.
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So I know that we have known each other through Creative Mornings and you're always such a wonderful presence there, and we were surprised and delighted when you said pick me, pick me for this kind of a show, pick me, pick me for this kind of a show.
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You're the first one to step up and be brave, and do you know coaching like in front of an audience?
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So hats off to you.
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Very, very brave thing to do.
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And that's very sweet.
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Do I get a sticker?
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You get gold stars.
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Where is the sticker?
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We got a sticker laying around here somewhere with your name on it.
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I'll do anything for a sticker.
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So we want to make sure that this is something that is comfortable and feels like it's a safe space.
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So, bearing in mind that this is going to be something that our audience can listen to, it's open, it's on the internet just be mindful of that with what you share but otherwise, we want you to be as open and comfortable and if there's something that seems like it goes in a direction that you don't want to go, you're in the driver's seat.
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We want you to feel comfortable throughout this.
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While we push you out of your comfort zone.
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I mean, you know, I, you know.
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I mean, should we have a safe word?
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We keep it very, very plain Just just let us know you don't want to go there.
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Just say not a conversation I want to have right now.
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Of course you know I'm pretty much an open book, but I'll keep that in mind.
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Okay, so, with all that said, what is it that you would like to bring into this session today?
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overall, what really caught my attention when you guys were looking for people to be creatively coached live um, is that I've been feeling for a couple of years, sort of a feeling of stagnation.
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Uh, with my career, um, I'm a graphic designer and even though I enjoy designing, I feel like something inside of me is saying to go in a different direction.
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However, I feel pulled in different directions.
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I've always been kind of a person that is always kind of like I need to have my life figured out.
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I need to know my purpose.
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I need to.
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If I'm going to go one direction.
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I need to have my life figured out.
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I need to know my purpose.
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I need to.
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If I'm going to go one direction, I need to know 100%.
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And I feel that a lot of time has passed just kind of saying I'll figure it out later until it's perfect, until it's clear, and it's a combination of that and a combination of just feeling pulled in different directions and not knowing where to start.
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So, overall, kind of not only is a career kind of change, but more of a personal projects direction, kind of feel a little lost.
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Yeah and I'm hearing a lot of different things there Just sort of the weight of having a career that is predictable.
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It may have its challenges, challenges but it's just something that has not.
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It's.
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It's not giving you all of the the things that you need to feel energized and motivated and and looking forward to what comes next.
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And I'm also hearing kind of a draw to find something that kind of pulls that spark.
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Yeah, exactly that's how I feel, and I feel that what I'm doing is okay right now, but I feel like there's just something out there.
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Gotcha Well, and I would be remiss if I did not point out that you also hinted at the fact that there were a lot of things that were possibilities.
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Like you, have a lot of potential projects that you might pursue, but you're just not in a place where you feel comfortable about pulling a trigger on any one, about pulling the trigger on anyone, because it sounds like you're also kind of held back by the fact that you need to have a plan, you need to have a map for everything that you need your life well orchestrated in order to proceed yeah, no, exactly.
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I feel like that scene in alice in wonderland, where there's like a little crossroads and there's like 20 different arrows and she's like where should I go?
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And I don't feel like comfortable enough and I know that nothing will be 100% clear and 100% sure.
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But I don't feel I need a map.
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I feel like I need some sort of compass at least.
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Yeah, I feel like I need some sort of compass at least.
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Yeah, sabrina, sometimes we get these ideas about things we might do and we feel like we have to choose one and then we have to go all in.
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And I want to just throw out there that there are other options.
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You know, instead of thinking of this like a marriage, you know where you're going to make a lifelong commitment and you try them on, one by one, to see how they feel on your feet, to see how they look on your feet, to see how comfortable or able to walk in them are, because some shoes are completely impossible to walk in and you wouldn't make a decision and buy a pair of shoes unless they had a great return policy without trying them on shoes, unless they had a great return policy without trying them on.
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And what if it's more like that and less like oh, I've got to pick a new gig and then I've got to commit to it like a marriage, have you considered just exploring and trying very different things until something just lights you up?
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I really like that metaphor that you used about the shoes.
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It makes me reminds me.
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It's just, I've lived a lot, it's something I'm working through in therapy, but just, I've always seen a lot of things as like black and white and like all in or all out.
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I've always taken things too seriously, as as kind of like sorry, um, just really kind of like, really like intensely that's not even the word.
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But and then um, so I'm just kind of never I've tried different things, but again, because I feel again lit up by those different things and knowing that I'm limited in time and energy, it makes me kind of also feel stuck in choosing what to do.
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Would it be fair to say, calling back to those limitations of time and energy?
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We have a very short focused amount of time here.
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I repeated all of the things that you presented and there's a lot more than will fit in this container.
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So if we were to choose one thread to pull on, what would you choose?
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um, could you specify like that?
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I'm sorry yeah, the the career stagnation, okay yeah yeah, I mean the career stagnation, just kind of honestly, y'all let's go with that yeah, well, and I heard you say you kind of feel stuck as well.
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Yeah, uh, and, and no, you're fine.
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As, as maddox was saying, what have you done to explore the things that light you up?
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I mean, I have a lot of hobbies, but hobbies are also not a career short.
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Until I got married to my wonderful husband, Kyle, I was really stuck in the having to work in the field that I studied in due to my visa requirements.
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I had to work in advertising, I had to work in design, and it's a field that I like a lot and I feel that I found a way to kind of synthesize a lot of the things that I like from graphic design, writing, strategy, communications and people.
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But at the moment so again, but at the moment I just don't feel like it's something that really fulfills me what?
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what is it that you liked about graphic design and advertising?
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I just really like that.
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It's a form of expression and art that has a strategy.
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It's something that it's has more of a path to take rather than creating art.
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Art but I've also kind of realized lately that art and design can be different too, and I I like interacting with people, I like delivering a message, I like, um, kind of crafting a concept and developing the concept with people that in.
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Currently.
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I think that a lot of what graphic design has become has become just like creating very static, just really fitting a mold, and it's really not something that fulfills me at the moment.
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It just doesn't really fill my cup anymore.
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Yeah, what would fill your cup?
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I don't know.
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I don't know because it's like, on one hand, I think that I don't know, kind of, on one hand, I think that maybe your career people say that your career should not be your everything and focus, that energy and that fulfillment from your side activities but on the other hand, I just don't want to look back 40 years from now.
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I am very intense of a person.
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I'm a Scorpio.
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Okay, I, just 40 years from from now, I'll be like what did I do?
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I could have done something else, and maybe that something else can still be the sign, but can be something else that incorporates the sign.
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I don't know.
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I like the way that you bring up that, looking back 40 years from now.
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So you're in a position where you can think about what it's going to be like to be that person that you want to be.
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So that person who is in 2065, what would you do to make her proud?
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How are you going to take care of her?
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Wow, give me one second.
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I'm sorry.
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I just I don't know not to unpack my life story, but since I was little, I've always kind of always needed to know what my purpose in life was, and I needed to like be the best and succeed and always have it all figured out and do a change and everything.
00:14:14.455 --> 00:14:43.909
But also, looking back at 28 year old Sabrina now, looking back at 10 year old Sabrina, 15 year old Sabrina, 20 year old Sabrina, who also was feeling those same feelings I look back and I just I mean I'm proud of her for all the things that she's achieved and accomplished, but also wished she was more in the moment and not as much in her head.
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Hello fellow Scorpio.
00:14:49.597 --> 00:14:53.322
Oh my God, my chart is just water signs all aboard.
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It's just uh.
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So I am looking back to sabrina from those years.
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I just wish again she just was out of her head.
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That so kind of in a way.
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If I think about Sabrina 2065, looking at Sabrina 2025, maybe the same kind of outlook would be there of just I would just want you to be happy and I want you to get out of your head to be happy and I want you to get out of your head.
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I think that my biggest obstacle towards kind of getting where I want to be is just kind of this is my head is being in my head and kind of waiting for the right moment when the right moment is now.
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Yes, I can speak to that.
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I spent half of my life waiting for that big, fabulous thing that was right around the next corner, until I realized one day that there was nothing right around that next corner, that if I it was, it was right here right now, and I had been perpetually living in the future, thinking something great was going to come right around the next corner and therefore I wasn't in the moment.
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And in the moment is where great is created.
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So my question would be what is it that takes you out of your head?
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What is it that you've discovered in life?
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Anything and everything that takes you out of your head and brings you into your body, your physical body, in the moment where you're very present I think there's a couple of things that come to mind at first.
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I think that whenever I'm doing, first of all, I think, like whenever I, whenever I'm doing kind of a lot of things in community or other people, like purposeful community has always been something that keeps me in the moment, so like creative mornings, kind of planning those activities and kind of saying they're tired everybody and kind of that.
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That's what I'm looking forward every month is just kind of be in that space, have that two hours of my life, just be that.
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And that's on little island, um, so always.
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So, yeah, kind of purposeful, like goal-oriented community, a goal and like having to achieve, but like more of a shared experience reminding us the capacity of like what we can do together.
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And the other thing that comes to my mind is that I go to the movie theater a lot.
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It's my form of self-care.
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I have the AMCA list of subscriptions, so I go at least twice a week and it's mainly I go because, besides me liking movies, it's like again, it's another space that for two hours I disconnect, I don't look at my phone, there's no email, there's no messages, it's just me and the screen.
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And then I also love taking people to the movie theater to also do that.
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So I would say that those are the two big things that come to my mind.
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It's kind of like doing something together specifically like art wise, because I really like art stuff, artistic, creative stuff and then second of all, just movies and kind of sharing a common thing, which I guess then it's an extension of, of that I'm I'm getting a little bit of intuitive hit.
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May I have permission to to share it?
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Sure.
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I think that, well, the intuition is telling me not.
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I think the intuition is telling me that you have kind of lost connection with the little Sabrina that lives inside of you.
00:19:08.666 --> 00:19:08.949
Yeah.
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You know, children know exactly what they want in the moment because they're so present.
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Children know exactly what they want in the moment because they're so present.
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They know exactly what they want.
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And my intuition is telling me that you have lost connection with the little girl that lives inside of you, and she's the one that gives the direction.
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She's the one that knows exactly what would light you up.
00:19:31.082 --> 00:19:39.178
So a good question would be we all had something when we were little kids, that when somebody said, well, what do you want to be when you grow up?
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And we always had an answer we knew exactly what we wanted to be.
00:19:42.795 --> 00:19:44.759
When we grew up, I wanted to be a teacher.
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Now, when I got to the point where I could have made that decision, that was way too much academic for me and I canned that idea.
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Where I could have made that decision, that was way too much academic for me and I canned that idea.
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And then, all these years later, I come back around and what I do now teaching is a big part of it.
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It's not in school.
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I'm not a teacher in a school, I'm not teaching an academic curriculum, but in my teaching I'm teaching something that I believe in and love way more than what I would have taught if I had become a legitimate licensed teacher.
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What is it that little Sabrina wanted to do when she was a little girl?
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What was that big?
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When I grow up, I'm gonna.
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I mean there was a lot of stages.
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The first one I do remember is wanting to be an astronaut.
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I thought space was really cool.
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I still think Space is really cool.
00:20:36.981 --> 00:20:46.461
Then I remember the next one was Wanting to be a Fashion Designer, because I really loved watching Project Runway with my dad.
00:20:46.461 --> 00:21:00.726
We literally since season one Heidi Klum, tim Gunn it was like we watched every single season together and I mean we watched a lot of other reality competition shows, um.
00:21:00.726 --> 00:21:03.843
So for a while I wanted to be a fashion designer.
00:21:03.843 --> 00:21:12.444
I even got like a sewing, like a Bratz sewing machine, um, but then I kind of like didn't want to do it anymore.
00:21:12.444 --> 00:21:19.082
Then I remember I wanted to be a Broadway singer.
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I guess I was really into Glee, and then I wanted to be a movie director.
00:21:28.586 --> 00:21:37.844
So it's always kind of shifted here and there, but I would just say the first one was Astronaut.
00:21:39.317 --> 00:21:43.201
Do you think I mean here I am years later and I'm teaching.
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Do you?
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You know on an unofficial level, but still I'm teaching.
00:21:48.500 --> 00:21:52.025
Do you think any of that is worth revisiting?
00:21:52.025 --> 00:21:58.928
Even if it was just breadcrumbs, that might lead you to something that's just a slightly tweaked offshoot of that.
00:22:00.016 --> 00:22:11.125
I mean I don't think I want to be an astronaut honestly, like I mean I like the parts, the vibe of it, I guess, but I don't think that's a.
00:22:11.125 --> 00:22:13.596
I mean I never really was into science.
00:22:13.596 --> 00:22:17.980
Maybe there's a way to synthesize that, I'm not sure.
00:22:17.980 --> 00:22:36.817
I think like the common kind of thread that I see through all those careers is kind of like just creation and creativity and art creation and creativity and art.
00:22:36.836 --> 00:22:37.417
Um, that would have been.
00:22:37.417 --> 00:22:39.461
My next question is to to seek out and look at for familiar things that show up.
00:22:39.461 --> 00:22:40.064
You know it's it's.
00:22:40.324 --> 00:23:16.775
It's never just exactly what it is we want to do, it is all the peripheral things that go around it as well and I I think another kind of common thread I see even with even with the austronaut stuff is that like I don't know if you guys do like the whole enneagram thing um familiar, we're familiar I'm a four um, but in which it means kind of like I'm in, like I'm very like I'm a, I'm just creative, individualist, uh, always wanting to kind of like share my voice, uh, share my perspective.
00:23:18.538 --> 00:23:29.098
And I think that in all those careers there is a certain element of kind of like sharing something.
00:23:29.800 --> 00:24:29.578
And with the world is sharing something different, something that stands out, and then sharing my unique point of view, um, creating and discovering, and yeah, it's pretty much also another thing I see in common yeah, well, and, and as a four, I know that you would value authenticity and self-expression yes, I think that those are probably like whenever I think about like you know, I've been doing a lot of other things I've been thinking about like what are, like, my core beliefs, and I think that those two have always been a thing that always two of the two biggest tenants of my life that authenticity, self-expression, kindness I think that those are kind of been like really big for me.
00:24:31.300 --> 00:24:35.424
Yeah, sabrina, I'm going to suggest that you do a little bit of journaling.
00:24:36.506 --> 00:24:37.626
Oh, I need to go back to it.
00:24:37.626 --> 00:24:39.229
I have so many journals.
00:24:39.229 --> 00:24:41.530
Oh my God, I collect all these notebooks.
00:24:47.275 --> 00:24:59.443
I'm going to suggest a particular exercise, though, if you're open to it, and that would be to sit down with all the things that you were drawn to the fashion design, the astronaut, all those things and all the things that you have done and make two columns.
00:24:59.443 --> 00:25:08.266
One column is all the things that I really liked about those things and the other column is all the things that I disliked about those things.
00:25:08.266 --> 00:25:27.079
Because as you begin to explore new things, then you'll have a basis like almost like a litmus paper that you can say, hey, well, I'm thinking about, you know, becoming a professional piano player.
00:25:27.079 --> 00:25:28.884
I'm just pulling that out of my butt.
00:25:28.884 --> 00:25:38.824
But and you sit down and you look at that list, does it have very many of the things that you really loved about all these other things and does it have very many of the things that you really hated?
00:25:40.478 --> 00:25:42.345
You know I've done a million things.
00:25:42.345 --> 00:26:06.867
I had a 40-year career as a hairdresser, but I had side hustles through that whole time, and I look back now and realize that everything that I loved and did well at had high touch with people, and the things that I didn't do so well at and didn't really end up flourishing, they didn't have high touch with people, and just those you know.
00:26:06.867 --> 00:26:20.249
If you can start to formulate like the things that really worked and the things that don't work, it's going to give you some clues as you move forward and begin to explore and experiment.
00:26:20.249 --> 00:26:27.645
It's going to give you a grounding that won't make it feel like you'll be able to eliminate some things right off the bat.
00:26:27.645 --> 00:26:28.508
Does that make sense?
00:26:28.887 --> 00:26:31.300
Yeah, no, totally, it kind of gives you like a filter.
00:26:31.300 --> 00:26:33.141
Yes, that does that make sense?
00:26:33.182 --> 00:26:33.684
yeah, no, totally.
00:26:33.684 --> 00:26:36.076
It kind of gives you like a filter yes, um, since you, you got both of us.
00:26:36.076 --> 00:26:51.067
Uh, I'd like to offer yet another journal prompt that'll be ongoing and I have my notebook ready okay, I also, uh, happen to know that you, you have excellent artistic ability.
00:26:51.247 --> 00:26:53.410
You handed us your business cards.
00:26:53.410 --> 00:26:56.084
Very proud of it.
00:26:56.084 --> 00:27:00.260
Yeah, we know that you've definitely had a gift.
00:27:00.260 --> 00:27:08.441
We mentioned the 68-year-old Sabrina.
00:27:08.441 --> 00:27:12.709
I want you to moving forward.
00:27:12.709 --> 00:27:15.843
Think about how it is that you're going to meet her.
00:27:15.843 --> 00:27:20.994
What gifts are you going to give to her?
00:27:20.994 --> 00:27:30.407
How are you going to make it so that the 68-year-old Sabrina is going to be fulfilled?
00:27:30.407 --> 00:27:33.324
Taken care of happy, whole.
00:27:45.695 --> 00:27:47.019
Finally going to start this notebook.
00:27:47.019 --> 00:27:49.406
It's been like that for a while.
00:27:50.555 --> 00:28:02.171
Sabrina, I think that you really hit the nail on the head early on in this conversation when you called out that you spend a lot of time in your head.
00:28:02.171 --> 00:28:15.529
I think that you are trying to, with thoughts, figure out what it is that you want to do and will light you up.
00:28:15.529 --> 00:28:18.281
And that's not where that's going to happen.
00:28:18.281 --> 00:28:19.424
It's going to happen down here.
00:28:19.424 --> 00:28:21.919
It's going to be.
00:28:21.919 --> 00:28:23.326
You're going to have to feel your way.
00:28:23.326 --> 00:28:30.007
You're trying to think your way into the right place and I believe you're going to have to feel your way into the right place.
00:28:30.007 --> 00:28:32.098
Does that make sense?
00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:33.323
Totally makes sense.
00:28:40.241 --> 00:28:43.291
I read a book back in 2021 called Everything is Figureoutable.
00:28:43.332 --> 00:28:47.307
I need to go back to it, but a chapter that really stuck to me that I've been thinking about lately is about like thinking with your gut.
00:28:47.307 --> 00:28:58.405
How like this whole thing about like, how, like your stomach actually has like a lot of neurons and how your brain and your stomach are connected and stuff like that.
00:28:58.405 --> 00:29:46.001
And how like, um, sometimes, when you never need to make a decision of what direction you want to go, you kind of like need to put yourself in a space in which like kind of like a mindfulness kind of activity, uh, in which you kind of just like try to feel and find like the answer there and what kind of like your, like your gut is telling you to do, what direction is telling you, because often the times it's like that's like a clear direction, like your brain likes to complicate things and think about the different paths and different kind of roads and the what would go right, what could go wrong, but kind of like your gut is more of that direct, primal direction, direction.
00:29:46.021 --> 00:30:30.771
I guess it's connected to the source of all that is yes and another thing that I do remember from that book is kind of like rethinking fear, about fear, um, which is another kind of a, um, an emotion that kind of has kept me in my head um, about how in the book this everything is regrettable, talks about like sometimes fear is a good thing and sometimes our brain, um, kind of misrepresents fear when it's actually something that we want to do and something that actually excites us, and that it's also also connected to the whole gut thing.
00:30:30.771 --> 00:30:34.210
So I'm going to brush up on that because it's been a while.
00:30:34.210 --> 00:30:37.309
It's just transported me to that.
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:45.944
You know, have you ever gotten some news, or you read something, or somebody told you something that you all of a sudden just got this knot in the pit of your stomach?
00:30:46.386 --> 00:30:46.708
Oh yeah.
00:30:48.181 --> 00:30:49.405
That's it, right there.
00:30:49.405 --> 00:30:57.205
That's the body communicating with you that something's up, a shift needs to happen, something needs to change.
00:30:57.205 --> 00:31:06.013
I think that if you can choose meditation, you can choose yoga.
00:31:06.013 --> 00:31:11.772
There's so many different things that are mindfulness and present moment activities that you can do.
00:31:11.772 --> 00:31:22.074
I find that when I started painting about three months ago and I painted before and didn't experience this the first time, but it takes me out of my head.
00:31:22.074 --> 00:31:34.184
I don't think about work, I don't think about work, I don't think about relationships, I don't think about anything other than just me, the paint and the canvas brushes.
00:31:34.184 --> 00:31:39.053
It is so like gets me down here for sure.
00:31:39.053 --> 00:31:45.211
It's amazing and it's restorative, as we heard today in our talk.
00:31:45.211 --> 00:31:46.133
It's restorative.
00:31:46.133 --> 00:32:07.688
I also think you would benefit from doing some exploration into inner child work, and you could probably just ask AI, chat, gpt to recommend the best book for inner child work that has exercises and things that you can do to.
00:32:08.930 --> 00:32:14.487
I like to think of you know, the little boy that lives in me.
00:32:14.487 --> 00:32:18.583
I nicknamed him little man and I talked to him.
00:32:18.583 --> 00:32:45.768
I hey, little man, I talked to him like that and I like to think of it as I imagine a seven-year-old, the way I looked at age seven and I address him just like he's a little boy right next to me and I realized that it's my responsibility to take care of him, just like he's a real little seven-year-old, like my own child, that he never ages, he will always be seven, he will never change, he's always living inside of me and will be there to my last breath.
00:32:45.768 --> 00:32:51.195
The better relationship you can have with that small child.
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